The divorce rate in the United States has been worrying people for a long time. People have been researching it and trying to find the reasons for it for decades. I’ve heard a lot of theories, but I recently heard a new one.
In this podcastfrom Hidden Brain, researchers discuss their theory that marriage has become more difficult in the last hundred years. The theory, in general, is that we have come to expect far more out of the institution of marriage than ever before. And those expectations have become so great that the institution cannot possibly live up to them.
So, the theory goes, the higher divorce rates are a reflection of our expectations about marriage, rather than any flaws with marriage itself.
It is a fascinating theory, a great listen, and food for thought for anyone that is married or may want to marry someday.
Blame is a big dynamic in both marriage and divorce. And yet, it almost never moves clients towards their goals. Brené Brown (yes, I am a special fan of hers simply for the use of the accent in her name) does a great job of breaking blame down into what it is at it’s heart: an expression of pain or frustration: