Toddlers & Tiaras: A Cautionary Tale of Child Custody and Privacy

Aug 21, 2012

Most lawyers will tell you that there are many hidden perils of taking your family law matters to court. 

One of those hidden perils is the loss of your privacy.

Privacy has many forms.  One form that people frequently don’t consider is the loss of privacy in child custody actions.

This loss of privacy takes the form of the government interfering in parenting decisions that it would have no right to inquire about if you were not in court.  In court, everything you do as a parent and every decision you make regarding your children becomes a matter for public scrutiny.

This recent story about Lindsay Jackson, a “Toddlers & Tiaras” mom, is a cautionary tale:  Jackson lost custody of her daughter, Maddy Verst, at least partially because of her decision to put her daughter in pageants. 

If the case were not in court, then it is hard to imagine that a governmental agency would have grounds to inquire into this kind of issue in a family.  No one has the power to tell a parent not to put their child in pageants; unless you are in court.

But, once the matter goes to court, parenting decisions and behaviors that have been sheltered by your privacy are open to judgment and review by a court, and the public.  And like Bill Verst, Maddy’s father, most parents in court are only too willing to bring up these kinds of issues in front of a judge.

Clearly, Lindsay Jackson believed her daughter’s participation in pageants was good for her daughter, a positive experience and an unquestionable parenting decision.  Turns out, the father, the court and the court’s psychologist did not agree. 

Before you run to court to open up your family’s life and your parenting decisions to judgment by a court and the public, you may want to ask whether you want to sit in the crucible of explaining your parenting decisions to a judge.  Your privacy may be more important than your need to fight.  And, while you may consider the decisions you’ve made for your kids to be above reproach, the people in power may not agree.

Fortunately, you can resolve your child custody issues without sacrificing your privacy and without opening your family and your decisions up to public scrutiny.

Collaborative law and mediation allow you to work out the issues while maintaining your privacy and your family’s privacy.

 

 

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