Money Panic in Divorce

Sep 28, 2011

One of the hardest moments for a couple in the collaborative divorce process or mediation is when they see that their projected budgets exceed their monthly income.  In my office that moment comes when we are all looking at the budget form on a large computer monitor.  The last number is plugged into the form and the totals appear at the bottom.  Then…

Silence.  Or moans.  Sometimes tears.  For the really loose couples, laughter.

This moment taps into what can be a couples’ deepest fears about whether they and/or their children are going to be OK. 

Here is the interesting thing that I’ve found:  This moment is the same for most people, no matter how much money they make.

Couples that make $500,000 a year (or more) typically have the same reaction as the couples that make $50,000 a year (or less).  Almost invariably, their projected budgets exceed their incomes.

And, almost invariably, it works out.  Through some combination of raising incomes, lowering expenses or using assets, couples find solutions to their financial and cash flow issues.

The point of this is that if you are facing a separation or a divorce, try not to let the cash flow and financial issues panic you.  Understand that the fears about money are part of the process. There is almost always a solution out there, no matter your income level.  You may just need to work harder to find it.

Related posts

Health Insurance in Divorce: Legal Separation v. Legally Separated

One of the biggest financial hits that can come with divorce is the cost of health insurance for an unemployed spouse. Typically, the unemployed or part-time employed spouse is covered under the health insurance plan offered by the other spouse's job. In my practice,...

We know what we want to do. Why do we need lawyers?

Some couples can have productive conversations at the kitchen table and agree on how they want to handle the financial and co-parenting issues of their separation and divorce. And I am all for couples having these conversations as long as they are productive. I...

The Losses Avoided

Divorce involves loss.  That is an inescapable reality of the changes that come with the end of a marriage. Human nature is to weigh losses heavier than gains.  We have a natural psychological tendency to focus on what we may lose, as opposed to what we stand to gain....