5 Tips for Protecting Your Kids in Divorce

May 2, 2012

 

The vast majority of my clients with children share one huge concern:  My divorce will ruin my children’s chances of being happily married. 

 

Fortunately, the research does not support the idea that divorce, by itself, negatively impacts the odds of a child being happily married. 

 

The research does show that the most important factor for kids of divorce is not that their parents were divorced, but the level of ongoing conflict between the parents.

 

So, if you want to protect your child from the negative effects of divorce, follow these guidelines:

 

  1. De-escalate conflict between you and your spouse whenever possible;
  2. Address conflict as quickly as possible so that mole hills do not become mountains;
  3. Choose a divorce process that promotes peace and problem-solving, like collaborative divorce or interest based mediation;
  4. Choose lawyers that promote problem solving and non-combative tactics;
  5. Treat your spouse as the parent of your children, and not as your enemy.

 

These steps will not make your divorce easy for you or your child.  But, they will help insulate your child from the lasting negative impacts of divorce.  

Related posts

Breastfeeding and Custody

Breastfeeding and Custody

A recent article making the rounds has highlighted an issue that has simmered in the family law world for decades: How should breastfeeding impact child custody arrangements?The answers are not simple legally. As the article points out, North Carolina courts and many...

The Slamming Doors of Divorce Negotiation (and How to Avoid Them)

The Slamming Doors of Divorce Negotiation (and How to Avoid Them)

The benefits of Collaborative Divorce can be difficult for clients to appreciate in advance. Seeing and appreciating how a joint problem-solving negotiation differs from adversarial and transactional negotiation in substance and result is far easier in...

Holiday Co-parenting:  Tips for Planning for the Holidays

Holiday Co-parenting: Tips for Planning for the Holidays

Navigating holidays in a divorce can be stressful at a time when everyone just wants to relax and enjoy themselves. Holidays often have deep emotional roots and figuring out how to handle them in a divorce can create emotional disagreements.When it comes to holidays...